20 reasons Why Pakistan Is The Absolute Worst Place On Earth
If you’ve been alive for more than a day, you know that Pakistan is a dangerous, crazy wild blast from the stone age. So, me and my friend Moebin Hafiz (who has travelled the country for his Travel Diaries) have set out to prove why Pakistan really is the worst place on earth.
1, The capital city is essentially a mud sack with a bonfire
Seriously, we could gag.
And again. Why would anyone want to see this?
2, It’s just plain ugly
The whole place is one giant wasteland.
It has the scenic beauty of a tin can. Eww!
3, The people are hideous
Not a single hottie in sight. Mahira Khan, Iman Ali, Abdullah Ejaz, Sheheryar Siddiqui, Abass Jaffri. They look so bad, it hurts.
4, Pakistani men are horrible human beings
Abdul Sattar Edhi’s philanthropic efforts? Blah!
Ansar Burney advocating for national and international human rights issues? Blah Blah!
Totally, utterly, completely unimpressive.
5, The ports? Pfft,
Hardly functional. Look at those ships. Pathetic!
6, History? Pakistan doesn’t believe in preserving history
The Badshahi Mosque? Yeah, nothing to see here.
7, The heritage sights are nothing special
The Katasraj Temples? Remnants of an ancient civilisation? Meh.
8, The architecture is boring
A hall of mirrors? Please. A bubble bath is more interesting.
9, Also, there is absolutely nothing special about the mosques
So unoriginal. We could cry
10, Their musical taste is abysmal
Clearly, this one requires no explanation.
11, There is nothing to do
It’s a traveler’s most boring nightmare. Nothing worth seeing. And absolutely NO mountain ranges worth trekking.
(Moebin even went looking for something to do. As you can see, he found nothing. Absolutely nothing.)
12, It is a nation of politically brainwashed, simpleminded zombies
No one ever protests against corruption. This right here is not a student protest at a prominent university against the atrocities in Balochistan.
13, The film industry is primitive
And there is no acting talent
14, Never has a Pakistani creative mind accomplished anything, ever
No Pakistani film maker has ever won an oscar
Pakistani fashion designers are glorified tailors with no business sense
After all, there’s a reason why the world doesn’t care about Pakistani fashion
15, The food is overcooked and unappetising
You might as well chew on cardboard.
And don’t even get us started about the desserts
16, All Pakistani politicians are drunk, feudal maniacs
Yes. Every. Single. One.
17, They don’t have a sense of humour
There are no politically satirical comedians in Pakistan
Nope. None. Zero. Siphar.
18, All the women are oppressed and suicidal
She’s so sad. Just look at her.
19, There are no exciting tourist spots
Sheesh, so tacky! We’d rather watch paint dry.
20, And finally, Pathans are the worst of all
Now that we’ve established that Pakistan is disgust personified, let’s also agree that in Pakistan, the north is particularly bad. Anyone with the slightest connection to KPK is crazy, ugly and has no talent beyond an AK 47. Proof, Imran Khan, Shahid Afridi, Jehangir and Jansher Khan, Marina Khan and Wiqar Ali Khan.
(On a serious note. Our attempt is inspired by the Iranian version, we believe that Iran is stunning.)
UshaKK - Co founder and editor at Dissent Conclave
Leave a comment
Make sure you enter the (*) required information where indicated. HTML code is not allowed.